Emily M...otter and the Epic Aussie Ending

There have been a lot of epic endings in my life over the past few months:

- My family moved out of the home we've lived in my entire life (albeit, our new home is only 5 minutes away)

- I went to the midnight showing of the last Harry Potter movie (which is a big deal as I've literally grown up with Quidditch and Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans)

Mmmm BBEFB's tastiest flavours?

- My laptop has reached the end of its nearly 5 year life in plumes of smoke and fireworks (okay not so much the pyrotechnics, but it lived a good life all the same), and with its grievous passing is the end of my PC days (yes, I've caved and gone Mac).

<-- Not my laptop thank goodness

- What you are all probably interested in (unless you stumbled upon this blog by chance while looking for videos of kangaroo and gator fights, for which you will be sorely disappointed because there are actually no gators in Australia, as they're all crocodiles) is the end of my adventures in Australia, culminating in an equally epic family trip through Australia and New Zealand. (Okay, so it wasn’t epic to the Harry Potter degree of slaying Death Eaters, but we did journey the seas with some fearsome pirates, ferocious orcs, and some deceptively cute little hobbits, as well as a smattering kiwis, of the feathered and non-feathered variety.)

(Oh and one more ending: The end of my procrastination of writing this last blog entry - sorry it's so late!)

In honor of Harry Potter (which has no other relation to this blog other than the fact that I saw it recently and it’s on my mind), I bring you:

Fantastic Beasts (and People) and Where to Find Them: Aussie/Kiwi Edition

1. The Minke Whale (and about 1,000 other species of marine life...)

Last Reported Sighting: On a three-day live aboard dive trip embarked upon by 4 expert whale-watchers (i.e. me and my family)

Appearance: Massive in size (especially when they're only a few feet away!) - around 7m/24ft max. We thought they were overgrown dolphins when we saw their dorsal fins surface at first.

Field Notes: Though I've unfortunately had to give up my lifelong dream of becoming a pirate (ARRR ain't got me sea legs matey), snorkeling with Minke whales and scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef was, to use the word of the day, epic.

Sooo many species of fish!

Speaking of large animals!

Turtle turtle turtle

Feel free to add your own vocalizations of "Under the Sea" as you watch this.

2. The Rainbow Lorikeet, the (OMG-it's-a-) Kangaroo, and the (I-am-not-a-bear-) Koala

Last Reported Sighting: You guessed it, back at Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. I couldn't leave Australia without saying bye to my Aussie animal friends (Plus my sister wanted to hug a koala!)

Habits:

Koala: Sleeping. Sleeping. Oh wait...no, still sleeping.

Lorikeet: Waking me up at 5am at Duchesne with their obnoxious screeching, but making up for it with incomparably beautiful plumage (once i've put in my earplugs that is...)

Appearance:

Don't try this at home kids. Anna's a professional.

Hello there!

He was a bit sleepy - surprise surprise!

3. Glowing Cannibalistic Fly Larvae (err let’s just call them Glow Worms…)

Last Reported Sighting: Waitomo Blackwater Rafting caves in northern New Zealand

Appearance: Try merging Milky Way stargazing with a water park tube ride, only in an underground cave instead of plastic tube, and bioluminescent fly larvae twinkling above your head instead of stars.

+ + =

Ooooh...

...and Aaaaah!

Field Notes: Ice cold, pitch black, sooo cool.

4. The Orc

Last Reported Sighting: Desolate fields of Mordor (also known as Tongariro National Park for non-Lord of the Rings fans) at the base of Mount Doom (A.K.A. Mount Ngauruhoe)

Appearance:

Don't be fooled by their friendly appearance, these Orcs are fearsome beasts to hike all the way to the base of the mountain.

=

It's a bit less ominous with snow instead of lava...

5. The Hobbit

Last Reported Sighting: Where else but Hobbiton! The movie set of the LOTR films, that is. Tucked away in the rolling hills of northern New Zealand, surrounded by multitudes of sheep farms (which isn't saying much, as pretty much anywhere you go in New Zealand you're surrounded by sheep. There's at least twice as many sheep than people on the island.)

Habits: Hobbits live simple lives in round holes in the sides of hills, which were a bit small for us "normal-sized" folks, and didn't actually have insides (the insides are off at the film studio). They must have been pretty shy, as we didn't see any when we were there.

Appearance: Unfortunately, the film law gods don't allow me to post pictures on the internet for public display (they made us sign a form because of the new movie coming out), so I guess you'll just have to watch it to see what we saw!

This is just what it looked like! (only real, not a drawing...with a few more construction tools lying about, and a few more sheep)

6. The Kiwi

Appearance: There are two species of kiwis in New Zealand. There's the humanoid Kiwi:

and the birdlike kiwi, which apparently few Kiwis have ever seen :

Last Reported Sighting: We stumbled upon both species after our ride down the Rotorua Luge (think a big downhill racetrack on wheeled-sleds, but 10x more fun than you would expect) in a quaint little wildlife park next door. It had a house that tricked the kiwis into thinking day was night and night was day, as they're nocturnal - kind of reminds me of my summer sleeping schedule).

The rare skiing kiwi can only be sighted in the Tongariro National Park. Adults tend to stick to the green slopes, while juveniles have been reported on slopes as dangerous as black diamond. Please ski with care.

7. The last entry in this field journal is not a "beast" at all, but a person. Actually, a whole lot of persons: Everyone in Australia who I am leaving behind, who made my experience truly “epic” and so, so special.

A friend of mine from Duchesne wrote a narrative story about my adventures in Australia (curiously centered around food...). I considered theming this blog in a similar way, but didn't think I could pull off the creative genius the way she did ;)

To all of my Aussie friends, there is so much I am going to miss:

- Spontaneous trips to the chocolate bar when our movie’s sold out and we have two hours to kill

- Chasing the grumpy goose by the lake even though I know it means certain death

- Going up for seconds (and thirds...) of ice cream at dinner for no other reason than we’ve been sitting there for so long they’ve brought out a new flavor

- Pancakes at 2am that have never tasted so amazing

- Going to movies on a Friday/Saturday night and hardly ever making it there and back on public transportation without something going wrong and having to call a taxi

- Homemade birthday cards with notes from all of my friends and some people I hadn’t even met (and I'm not sure if I ever met?)

- Dancing like fools on the couches at Birdees because it’s a Tuesday night and we're the only ones there

- Laughing with Aussie friends trying to imitate American accents, while failing miserably at remembering to call green peppers “capsicum," my flip-flops "thongs," and keeping to the LEFT when going up the stairs in the library.

Though being back home does have it’s perks: Anna will attest to how giddy I was about $1.50 bottles of water and $1.00 loaves of bread at the store, not to mention 24/7 internet on my phone, and driving on the right side of the road (though I nearly ran over a jogger with my bike when I tried to pass him on the wrong side…).

I am going to miss everyone sooo much!

For those of you Aussie people who read this: You better stay in touch, and when you all come to the states to go see Harry Potter World (which is apparently the #1 reason for coming to the U.S. now...), though Missouri is nowhere near Orlando, if you don’t send me an owl that you’re in the country expect a Howler in your mailbox upon your return to the Land Down Under ;)

As for the rest of you, intrepid adventurers, this at last concludes your journey to the Land Down Unda'. I hope you survived and maybe even enjoyed your trip through four months of croc wrestling, bushwalking, shark diving, maybe going to a class or two on the side, and never once hearing an Aussie say "G'day mate." Oh well, there's always next time ;)

Meanwhile good luck on your own journeys, and please watch your step as you dismount you kangaroo.

[Check out loads of more pics here!:

New Zealand: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1921596801993.2102502.1304250203&l=110607fa7b&type=1

Australia:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?

set=a.1950712129858.2103908.1304250202&l=20ddc103f1&type=1]

News in the Down Unda'

Good evening/morning/[insert appropriate greeting for your time zone here] and welcome to this month’s broadcast of “News in the Down Unda'’” with your host: Emily-“this is how I procrastinate studying for finals when you’re all already on summer break”-Mose… (wait I’m not putting my last name on the internet, crazies.)

In headline news todight (that’s a combo of today and tonight, in case you didn’t catch it, because I’m just that clever) we bring you a story of how one of the smallest cities in the United States managed to make the morning news show on my television the other side of the world.

Rather than repeating the news of the tragic tornado disaster at the town less than an hour from my house in the middle of nowhere Missouri, we’d just like to highlight how the picture so accurately implies that everyone “knows” where Joplin, USA is, like it’s New York or something and doesn’t need a state. Of course, judging from interviews with other Aussies at the event (that event being eating weet-bix and sultana bran cereal illegally in the common room), they don’t have the faintest idea what’s a city and what’s a state in the US anyways (“You’re from Missouri, right? What state this that in?”). Thus experts say there will likely be no harm done.

We now bring you Emily with sports…

Thanks Emily. This past week Australians gathered together to watch two fearsome rugby teams battle it out what Aussies call the "State of Origin" game, but what Americans would probably label as the Aussie “Super Bowl” except with no padding, no helmets, and seriously disappointing commercials. But hey, they did make American football players look like a bunch of sissies as they beat each other up, which almost made up for the lack of kids dressed up like Darth Vader trying to use the force to start their parents’ Volkswagen.

The teams playing were the Queenslanders from the north and the New South Wales-ers from, duh, the south. Oh wait, those are the same teams that play every year, because once again it seems someone forgot to send out the cute little Hallmark invitations to the other states. Whoops. Oh well, they're “terrible at rugby anyways” (according to an anonymous source at the dining hall table, though she may not have used such kind words).

Viewers might think Australians would have trouble coming up with fearsome mascots, coming from a country with 9 of the 10 most deadliest snakes and more things that can kill you than anywhere else, but fans new to the games were relieved that they had the choice of cheering for one of two formidable opponents:

…the cane toads…

...or the cockroaches...

Oooh I'd hate to face one of those guys on the rugby field. I might squash him by accident.

At least they try to make them look ferocious:

A reporter on the scene noted that most fans chose to forgo the animal representation and cheer on their teams by color instead: Maroon and blue. Meh. More to come in a later broadcast on the positive effect this had on the self-respect of dedicated rugby fans across the country.

And lastly in sports, for those apparently few and far between fans of AFL (that’s Aussie Rules Football, for our American viewers), a game was played last month by the Brisbane Lions, whose mascot, colors, and red and gold garb had muggle fans suspicious of a wizarding infiltration the whole night:

But despite the Lion’s refreshing ability to pick a mascot that doesn’t make you twist your face in disgust, they still lost, for what our sources say is "like the tenth time in a row." When interviewed for their reaction to the tragedy, a fellow dining hall Brisbaner simply shrugged and reminded us that “ALF is stupid, nobody watches that anyways,” and helped herself to another scoop of boysenberry ice cream.

Go lions go!

And now on to Emily with travel news:

Thanks Emily. Our travel experts this week bring us to the small coastal town of Byron, where reporters on the scene interviewed a group of American tourists from Washington University who apparently witnessed an armed car robbery, a strange face-painted man talking to a wall, and a smattering of hippies, all in one weekend. If you’re visiting this quaint town two hours from Brisbane any time soon, the locals say to keep an eye out for dolphins in the bay (but don’t take pictures with one of those ancient “disposable” cameras that has to be developed and thus doesn’t make it onto your blog) as well as cheeky students dancing on tables at Uni Monkeys, err, that would be uni students at Cheeky Monkeys, sorry for being…cheeky.

You just gotta obey the signs.

Also, speaking of monkeys, this just in: There has apparently been a rare sighting of some flailing monkeys, get this, learning to surf off the Byron coast. Oh wait, never mind, sources have confirmed it’s just another uni student trying to look cool. We’ll show you some footage anyways:

And while we’re on the subject of strange sightings, we’ve been hearing numerous reports of strange multicoloured humanoid creatures wandering around McDonald's on a Saturday morning. Our sources tell us that, despite cleverly camoflauging themselves as beautiful “ladies” at a college formal ball the Friday night before, these creatures (which are suspected of extraterrestrial origin), have transformed into their true form in the morning light and really, really want to give you a hug.

--->
Despite assurances they’re harmless, I think I’ll pass on the hug.

In other news, a recent highly-scientific survey of girls eating late night toast in the Duchesne kitchen has found that Aussies believe coming to the U.S. would be “scary…because of all of the guns…I mean, people just walk around with them everywhere, don’t they?”

Yes, dear, they do. Better watch yourself. (FYI it's illegal for people to own handguns in Australia except under special circumstances. So if you're coming to visit, leave that gun we all know you own at home.)

Australians travelling to the U.S. should also be warned not to go into American basements (a foreign concept in most Aussie housing), as, according to an anonymous source between bites of her vegemite toast: “that’s where people get murdered, right?” Doctors are currently examining her brain to see if the excessive vegemite has had any permanent effects on her cognition.

(It was fortunately concluded that her condition was due to an overdose not on Vegemite but on low-budget American TV shows.)

Well, our time’s about up for todight’s broadcast. We’ll leave you with footage of an American girl who was sighted falling out of the sky onto a Brisbane beach. Fortunately no one was harmed, and sources say that parents have been informed after the fact to avoid any nervous breakdowns.

Tune in next month for our final broadcast, when we’ll be back in our old studio in the states again - wow how the time does fly! Or as Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter extraordinaire would say: "Crikey!"

As for now, this has been “News in the Down Unda” with your host, Emily-“mom and dad don’t kill me for jumping out of an airplane”-Mos… (nah I’m still not telling you my last name, stalkers.)

[Visit the Down Unda' photo archives for more in depth on todight's stories:

Byron Bay: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1798447403335.2097540.1304250203&l=26372ffce2

Duchesne Ball: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1781291614451.2096706.1304250203&l=c0cee345cf

Recovery: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1782913294992.2096778.1304250203&l=63558f3c3b

Skydiving: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1818978916610.2098782.1304250203&l=fb91624425

Australia Zoo: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1807155541033.2098034.1304250203&l=872217f03a]